I recently had a job interview. It was a nice position, fun, good people, challenging - but I quickly found I didn’t want to spend an hour and a half in the car, head to an office again everyday, and work a full-time salaried job. I want to be passionate about what comes next, and to have a greater degree of flexibility to help me create a positive work-life balance.
One of the interview questions was to state five words that describe me. I pulled out the ones I believed in at that moment, and that an employer would be looking for and ended with some mix of these: diligent, dedicated, level-headed, flexible, and trustworthy. After last week, it became apparent those five words are not accurate and then I wrote these: harsh, kind, unsure, private, and trustworthy. Ugh, when did I get to be harsh? But more importantly, how do I change into what I want to be and just might already be: loving, appreciative, flexible, fun, and driven.I believe we feel what we feel and should listen to that, but I also believe we can easily fall into a pattern where we allow circumstances to control us. We can train ourselves unknowingly to react in certain ways and in my case, harsh reactions started to be “natural.” I felt myself thinking inward and feeling sorry for myself; I didn’t believe in others and how they could help and give.
I fell into a pattern of acting and “feeling” with my head, but I know now that I can build and focus on listening more to the heart. I can be loving and appreciative, driven, flexible and fun. Some of these are coming out more and more... loving when I embrace my children; appreciative when Cal takes family and friends on fishing and boating excursions. Driven when I identify new goals and volunteer, flexible when I work through the feeling of frustration brought on by expectations, and fun when I meet two of my favorite friends for coffee and we laugh genuinely about ourselves and each other.
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